Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
