oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
