I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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