is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
