its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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