my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I need water and some morals
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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