i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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