I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize