Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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