What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
