i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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