she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
