I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
