Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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