I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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