your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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