PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
