Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
