I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize