Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
