i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
