My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
