Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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