Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize