if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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