I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize