you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.