The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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