went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
