i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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