I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
