what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
