Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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