i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
someone owes me an orgasm
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
