I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
