No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize