I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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