do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
