who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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