i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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