woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
