Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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