but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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