I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
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I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
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we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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