i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
