I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We are all done wearing pants today
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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