She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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