She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
