Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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