using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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