I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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