So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
