You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
