just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize