Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
