I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
