UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
