My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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