You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
now i know why i became what i already was.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
wow bdsm is so cute
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
