i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
