shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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