who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
