I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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