trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
