You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
