So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize