WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize