I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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