we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I pour the whiskey from now on
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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