If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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