Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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