Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize