Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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